The Good Stuff

Since my last blog was about punishment, it is only fair that I talk about reinforcement now. A reinforcer is the exact opposite of a punisher: a stimulus that occurs immediately after a behavior, which increases the probability that the behavior will happen in the future.

Again, we all contact reinforcers every day in our natural environments. If we did not contact reinforcement, we would not continue behaving. My behavior of taking my dog out at O-dark thirty is reinforced by escaping the inevitable "accident" that will occur on my floor if I don't take her out. My behavior of starting a home maintenance project that I want my husband to do is reinforced when he inevitably finishes it for me. My husband's behavior of leaving the dishes in the sink is (or has been) reinforced by me putting them in the dishwasher. My behavior of constantly searching for a house to rent on craigslist has been reinforced by finding new, possible houses each time I look (I am obsessed about this right now, it is not healthy!).

The thing that I think is really neat (imagine a nerdy laugh and me pushing glasses up my nose here) is that you don't have to know that your behavior is being reinforced for it to happen. Actually, typically you don't know that your behavior is being reinforced, but it still increases the likelihood that you will engage in that behavior in the future.

So, I told you that I would share with you how you can use these principles of behavior in your own life. How can you do that you ask? Simply by changing which behaviors you choose to reinforce in others. For example, if I want my husband to stop leaving his dishes in the sink, I can stop putting them in the dishwasher for him and instead cook him something special when he does put his dishes in the dishwasher. Is this being manipulative? Maybe, but would it be better to yell at him every time he leaves his dishes in the sink? I submit not. Now think about this. What is reinforcing my behavior of intentionally leaving his dishes in the sink? Do you see? I reinforce his behavior, but he also reinforces (or punishes) mine. So, as I see it, we manipulate others behaviors whether we are doing it intentionally or not. I would rather be aware of what I am doing, so that I can reinforce appropriate behaviors rather than unintentionally reinforcing the behaviors I don't want to see.

P.S. My husband is a wonderful man and I love him dearly, even if he doesn't always do the dishes.